FASD IS FOREVER, FRUSTRATION IS NOT
Just because someone living with Fetal Alcohol can say "it" doesn't mean they understand "it". Often times their expressive language is greater than their comprehension, making them appear more capable than they really are.
People who think you are coddling someone with Fetal Alcohol are wrong. You're not coddling, your accommodating their disability, and to do that necessitates a different parenting style.
People with Fetal Alcohol have a desire to do well and to please..but because they have organic brain damage it can limit their capacity to follow through with those desires, making it frustrating for both parties.
If we change the way we react to someone living with Fetal Alcohol and their behaviors, they will change the way they react to ours. You can't be a lit match going into a fireworks factory.
Challenging behaviors from people with Fetal Alcohol are symptoms of a poor fit. A poor fit between who the person with Fetal Alcohol really is, and what is expected of them.
Many individuals with FASD can perform short-term projects well, but have much more difficulty with sustained effort over longer periods of time..That's because their brain has to work twice as hard, so think of them more as sprinters, not long distance runners.
For someone living with Fetal Alcohol, medication should never be response for a poor environment. Don't keep trying to change the drugs, keep trying to change the environment. Medication should be the last intervention, not the first. Would you give someone medication just because they were blind?
People with Fetal Alcohol can see things in others (that is concrete) but they cannot see it in themselves (that is abstract). That's why they are good at pointing out your flaws, yet unable to see their own. Another reason why it's Brain not Behavior
When we get upset at someone with Fetal Alcohol, (because we do) focus your anger on the brain damage, not the person affected by it.
Did you know? suspending someone with Fetal Alcohol from school is like suspending a blind person and telling them "When you come back from your suspension, you better not be blind"....Don't hate accommodate.
One of the toughest challenges caring for someone living with Fetal Alcohol is that you are fighting traditional thinking all the time! FASD is anything but traditional!
Celebrating small successes with Fetal Alcohol will lead to even greater victories, because where there is competence, compliance will soon follow.
If your loved one with Fetal Alcohol is having a tough time at school, decrease the amount of work. It is better for our guys to complete 100% of less work, rather than 0% of more work. I wish everyone a successful school week.
Although it may not look like it sometimes, your loved one living with Fetal Alcohol loves and needs you. More often than not they are just as frustrated with themselves as others are with them
One of the most frustrating things for a caregiver is to offer help to someone living with Fetal Alcohol to no avail. The reason is because of their deficits in executive function, individuals with FASD are the least likely of any group to consider themselves disabled and the least likely to see that they need help.
When working or living with someone who has Fetal Alcohol there is always the Honeymoon period - at first we provide tons of support - then we get comfortable and we increase expectations and decrease supports. Person living with FASD hasn't changed - we have.
An often overlooked characteristic of Fetal Alcohol is poor judgement. So, when you're shaking your head after they have done something silly, remember, it was their disability that made the call, not their character.
If we're telling people with Fetal Alcohol that they “must” learn or “must” take responsibility, then we “MUST" accommodate their disability in order for them to do so.
One of the toughest emotional hurdles as a Fetal Alcohol caregiver is, giving up what we thought life was going to be like, in order to take on what it really is.
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