Something learned...to apply to all aspects of life.

Here is a great tidbit shared by James Gideon (an adult living with an FASD): "Start with the assumption that all human beings want to please others and to be successful - when there are problems, ask yourself what are you doing that is setting this up and allowing it to happen - what is it in this situation that makes it unlikely for us to be successful.  I always think we are successful. You know what they are saying though. I guess for me I look at my success as my own doing, not someone elses, but I guess when I was younger this would have been an issue or if I didn't have the skills, structure, routine that I have today, this would be an issue in my adult life. Really cool tidbit."
I love how this tidbit asks me to look at myself and evaluate myself to see what I can do, what I can change to help the situation. What a good outlook to have...rather than trying to point my finger at someone or something to point blame...instead look inwardly at myself to see what more I can do to help. I think this is a great outlook to have in all aspects of life!

PREVENTION!!!

"If you want to see some success with your loved one with Fetal Alcohol, stop trying to CHANGE their behavior(symptoms), instead put your focus on PREVENTING the behavior(symptoms) from happening in the first place." Jeff Noble

try differently, not harder

"WHAT TRYING DIFFERENTLY CAN CHANGE"
"Trying differently means to expand your range of options and move from punishing behaviours to understanding them and to changing the environment and your expectations of the affected individual. It also means shifting from changing people's 'symptoms' to changing the way that you react. When parents, caregivers, and professionals learn about FASDs and are able to understand the causes of problem behaviours and what the underlying physical issue(s) might be, and act accordingly, secondary characteristics of FASDs such as meltdowns, irritability, frustration, anger, anxiety, withdrawal, shutting down, trouble at home/school, legal and mental health problems etc., can be prevented or decreased.

When the needs of individuals with an FASD are not met, these secondary characteristics can lead to secondary diagnoses such as reactive/attachment disorder, ADHD, Learning Disabilities, ODD, ADD, OCD, Conduct Disorder, sociopath, etc. Lack of understanding and inaccurate interpretation of problem behaviours lead to poor outcomes---diagnosis of FASDs is essential in preventing this.

When behaviours are understood, the interventions are supportive and frustrations are reduced. Trying differently alsop means that when something doesn't work, don't give up, don't try harder, try something different!

This is a long tidbit but this is going to go into my next little bit of tidbits but until tomorrow's tidbit,."
-James Gideon

With regards to behavior...

"With regards to behavior: You child is never ever going to come and tell you they need less stimulation in their life. The only way you will know this is with their behavior. So instead of looking at it as something to consequence and punish and modify - look at it as their only way to fill a need for themselves. Look at the behavior and look UNDER it. Find the need and fill it and I promise you you will have less behavior and more peace in your home. It takes years of doing this for your child before they start recognizing it and removing themselves from overwhelming stimulus. They don't have the capacity to do this at first! I am not saying no consequences though - we are big believers in consequences when they are needed. Sometimes though filling the need is consequence enough." New Hope Academy