Favorite quotes by Jeff Noble: FASD is Forever, Frustration is not.

"Just because people with Fetal Alcohol may know better, doesn't mean they can do better. That's why external guidance and support is so key to their success."

 "If someone with an FASD is aggressive, it's usually because they are in over their heads. When you match your expectations with their actual ability, you'll see less aggression. You would be aggressive to, if you constantly could not understand things. Ever try putting something together from IKEA?"

A New Year is a great time to try new things!

I was totally surprised that my son chose to leave Ozzy home today.  It was 100% his choice.  He got some new animal friends for Ozzy on Christmas.  I told him he couldn't bring all of them to school, but told him that he could only bring one if he would like.  And he chose to leave Ozzy home...I could tell it was hard for him, but I stayed neutral through the whole thing as he made his choice.

Then, on the way to school he says: "A new year is good for trying new things.  I'm trying something new by leaving Ozzy home."  And I'm thinking, Wow! Where did that come from?

Then, he says, "And I'm taking a break from wearing my gray shirt."  I hadn't even noticed til he said something...and yep, sure enough, he's wearing the same shorts, but different shirt...the shirt he usually wears to our family reunions.  I have no idea where that came from! Totally shocked!

Over the break I did show him that I have two of his gray shirts that he likes to wear and so he didn't have to worry cause one of them should always be clean and ready for him to wear.  Not sure if that made a difference or not.  Not sure if it will even last. 
But hey, at least today is a day that my son tried some new things, and I'll take that as progress! :)

What do I do? Helpful Tips

**POSITIVE PRAISE; BUILD ON SUCCESS**

Structure:

all kids raise hand before any comment or question (enforced/re-do)

Consistent Routine/Predictable

simply keeping the order of doing things consistent.

Supervision (emotional age)

teacher sit by him (doesn't like sitting on the end)

a child that's a good example on the other side of him

after class time, wait 'til adult picks him up

Anxiety

Prayer or read scripture in class/ talk or scripture in sharing time: always ask. If no, 'that's OK. When you're ready for that, you'll do it.'

Concrete

he takes things very literal. Doesn't get abstract or sarcasm

Learns by Repetition and Very Visual

(can remember things best when related to something visual)

good visual memory (poor working memory/auditory

“Listening tool”:

-rope puzzle

-clay

*Tone

*Body Language

*less words

Things that help him de-escalate:

quiet, quiet voice, eye contact, confidence (positive praise, build on success), clear simple directives, quiet melodic words, gentle tone of voice, music

Things that help him escalate:

poking, noise, too much talking, chaos in class, frustration, anxiety, communicating from a distance with no eye contact, complex directives, too many directives at once, ultimatums, raised voice, shaking finger, harsh tone of voice, threats.